Anonymous Sex: What is Sex?


Anonymous Sex: What is Sex?
Date 5/12/2005 12:00 AM | Topic:
Opinion
For our last column, the ladies of Anonymous Sex would like to
challenge our readers to wax philosophically.

The end of the
academic year has come, and as we all prepare ourselves mentally
for final exams, we would like to examine the meaning of sex. What
is it, and what does it mean to us? From virginity to dating to
orgasms, we talked with several upperclasspeople and engaged in a
personal dialogue with each about their perspective on the most
obsessed-about indoor sport.
What does it mean to lose your virginity? A female fourth-year
student tells us, "I was a sophomore in college, it was intercourse
and I enjoyed it. I was drinking, but not drunk.

When he put his
arm around me I thought, I'm probably going to have sex with him
tonight. Am I okay with that? Yeah."
How do we define sex? A graduating senior who identifies himself
as gay thinks "society's definition is too narrow. It is a fault to
define sex merely as penetration.

[Sex is] mutually sharing a
moment between two people and stimulating each other in a way that
brings both to orgasm. Some say oral sex isn't sex, but being so
close to someone else is way more intimate than just penetration,
with or without a condom."
Yeah, in order to put someone else's genitals in your mouth you
must really like them. This statement brings up the question of
closeness.

One student voiced past concerns about
self-consciousness, saying she "worried about giving bad head." She
worried about what her partner might say to his friends, and if she
might be the butt of rumors. She observed that in her present
long-term relationship, she and her boyfriend are "in love, and we
help each other."
A graduating female student reflects on her change in attitude
over the past several years.

"I remember seeing a Seinfeld episode
where Elaine asks Jerry, 'At what point would you say sex has taken
place?' Jerry thinks for a second, then says 'Well, I would say
when the nipple makes its first appearance.' At the time, I was a
virgin and that meant I would have lost my virginity...

I didn't
quite agree with it, and though I wasn't completely inexperienced,
I wasn't ready to have sex. Now, if I'm close enough with someone
to get naked, I'm close enough to rock their world."
One female upperclassperson has come full circle. "I was sixteen
when I lost my virginity.

I wanted to wait until I really loved
someone, and it meant something real to me. He was my first high
school boyfriend. But I became promiscuous after awhile, and I
wanted to have more experiences, then as I grew older I changed
again. I was pretty conservative at first, and now it needs to mean
something again.

..I haven't had sex for three months now."
A graduating senior who identifies herself as bisexual urges
people to push boundaries and definitions.

"So what if you think
you're straight. If you're attracted to someone, just go for it.
After I came out I was surprised at all the straight girls who came
up to me. Sometimes it was hot, sometimes it was weird.

"
The ladies of Anonymous Sex want to send you off for the summer
with a challenge. No, it's not to "get laid in the shade," like the
classic yearbook catch phrase. We challenge you to reflect on your
own personal definition of sex, and what it means to you - what you
want it to mean.

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